Wanted Review

I never wanted to see Wanted. I also didn't want to open the review with a ridiculous pun, but sometimes the universe has a way of making everything slide in to place. Awkwardly. As for why I didn't want to see Wanted, it just looked stupid from the trailer. Angelina Jolie having the laws of physics bent around her? I'll admit that maybe a few penises have bent the laws of physics for that girl, but bullets damn well wouldn't (I'm just as confused about the sentiment contained within this sentence as you are).

As it stands my convictions against Wanted are wholly valid. It is quite simply the stupidest film I have seen since Snakes on a Plane, and it doesn't even realise it. The plot actually starts very well, as we follow an extremely likeable lead, Wesley Gibson (played by the utterly unappreciated James McAvoy), through the utterly depressing and futile nature of his life, all accompanied by a scathing and rude commentary which sounds some much like the inside of my brain it's scary. Then Wesley stumbles upon a cult of assassins who can bend the laws of physics and follow the orders of a magical loom that communicates in binary and I'm not even exaggerating.

The plot actually gets stupider. No-one ever questions why they follow the orders of a loom, how they got their powers, why they kill the people the loom tells them to (actually looked at briefly, given an awful and flimsy answer by an obviously insane person), or even how the people who started the fraternity (the aforementioned cult of assassins) understood binary, a code which quite simply wasn't available to cults of weavers (that's right, the assassins used to be weavers. Why? I have no idea) 1,000 years ago. The film simply ignores the fact that everything beyond the opening is completely stupid and utterly impossible.

Other than the vast majority of the film's plot Wanted is okay. It fits nicely into the category of “loud, obnoxious action films” which seems so popular with people who don't really appreciate good films. It has an awesome soundtrack, which fits perfectly with the film, it's shot fairly nicely and the acting is as good it gets in these kinds of films. Admittedly the dialogue is awful but when dealing with secret cults which follow the orders of a magical loom what do you expect?

All in all, it's a decent rental if you want a film you don't have to understand or care about. Although it could have been on a par with the first Matrix film if all the bollocks about the loom had been dropped (I may be a little obsessed with the stupidity of this plot device); the beginning shows masses of promise and the ending is wonderfully subversive, it's just all the middle bits which get in the way.

7/10