Terminator: Salvation Review

Terminator has always been something of an enigma to me. Whilst I must admit that the first, second and, to a certain extent, third films are all entertaining and enjoyable films; the concept that technology is a threat to mankind has never seemed that profound to me.

It is true that with any new technology, social issues arise. That doesn’t mean that technology is an inherently bad thing. Take for example: the internet. Sure, it’s a festering pile of idiots, paedophiles and superegos but it… isn’t as bad as the atom bomb?

Alright, even if technology is bad, we already know. Every science fiction artist, writer and filmmaker ever has already made this abundantly clear to us. We don’t need Arnold Schwarzenegger to tell us that.

We need Bat- I mean Christian Bale to do it instead!

After Terminator 2 the series seemed done to most people; Terminator 3 killed it for anyone who thought otherwise. Yet here we are with Terminator: Salvation. Why?

The cash cow says “More!” that’s why.

The concept is that even after the best efforts of everyone from the previous films, the war with the Skynet has happened. Judgement day went down and only a few pockets of survivors are left to fight the malicious corporation. They are led by John Connor (Christian Bale), who as the expository text at the beginning of the film kindly informs us, many dismiss as a false prophet. Including me.

I don’t mean to take issue with the entire Terminator series but this concept just bugs me. Even if Connor is some form of chosen one, what the fuck can he actually do? He has no special powers, if not for convenient writing and impossible plot devices he could die as easily as anyone else in the series. I must admit that I was expecting some form of resolution on this point when I walked into see Salvation. The film is set when he’s supposed to be doing his thing after all. Of course that doesn’t happen. Instead what we’re given is two hours and fifteen minutes of loosely scripted filler. I wish I was joking but you can deduce the films plot from the trailer! There’s even a blatant “To be continued…” closing monologue.

The writing itself is pun laden and derivative. Trying far too hard to steal the famous one liners from previous films without giving a second thought to the context this dialogue is being used in. As to be expected action sequences are frequent and long. Although they become annoying at times, these are genuinely inventive and enjoyable, heightening pace and tension consistently towards the third act of the film.

Special effects are astounding, as is the use of sound, even if it is unnecessarily loud at times. I would also like to draw attention to the costume design which is some of the best I have ever seen in a science-fiction film. Ever.

Alright, I promised myself I’d save this until last: acting. Even though the credits say that Christian Bale is playing John Connor he wasn’t. He was playing Batman instead. I’m not joking; he does the voice and everything. I could stand the voice in Batman; it was terrible because it was meant to sound like someone covering their real voice. In Terminator it’s just silly.
It also got me thinking. Batman’s a prick, when played by Bale, Connor’s a prick when played by Bale, hell, even Howl is a prick when voiced by Bale. So, here’s a fun game: name a film where Christian Bale isn’t a prick.

I honestly can’t think of single one.

Aside from Bale, the cast perform moderately well. Most of them manage to carry scenes through to the conclusion as Bale gasps and wheezes through his dialogue like a man dressed up in a bat costume.

With a lung disease.

Overall, Terminator: Salvation is a good action film. It has good special effects, bad dialogue and Batman. What do you expect?

6/10